It doesn't matter
by littleleaf89
Summary: On a evening Shizuru and Natsuki share a moment together. Set at some point after the anime. Shizuru has finished university and Natsuki is about to graduate.


The sun shone. In fact it shone down brightly as it had done all June. And of course, tomorrow it would shine as well. Though, tomorrow it would be the last day for some of the students to see its bright gleam being cast down on the campus.

Natsuki lazed on her favourite spot of Fuuka Academy, a hill a little aside from the rest of the life on the campus as it was shielded by the forest. Here, where there were no students bustling about and no teachers telling you to do your homework and study, it was quiet. Yes, quiet and tranquil, and that's why Natsuki liked to be here. Whenever her heart had been in turmoil, which had been the fact quite often in her school years, she had come to a place like this. She hadn't been looking for a special place, but rather a special atmosphere. A tranquility to surround her, to engulf her and to render serenity to her troubled heart. On the academy grounds she had found such a place right here and today she had visited it one more time.

While she had been sitting in the soft grass, staring off into the distance, the sun had turned from pure white to warm yellow to the colour of melted gold, now basking the scenery and its sole inhabitant in a warm glow.

'Tomorrow is the last day.'

The thought had popped up every so often in her mind that afternoon and every time she had brushed it aside as quickly as it had appeared. She didn't want to think of tomorrow, she'd come here to forget about it. For a while at least.

Natsuki closed her eyes and held her face directly into the rays of the sinking sun, allowing the warmth to grace her features.  
A soft voice announced the presence of another person behind her.

"Shouldn't you be in your room preparing yourself for tomorrow?", the voice behind her back asked with mild curiosity.

Natsuki didn't move nor open her eyes to the intruder in her little peaceful idyll.

"Well, you seem to have expected me here, otherwise you wouldn't have come," she simply retorted.

"What tells you that I haven't been running around the whole school, looking anxiously for you everywhere before and getting more and nervous about you?" the voice asked with hurt and reproach.

Natsuki smiled to herself. She knew it was only faked.  
"Because I know you know me, Shizuru, and I'm not falling for those little games anymore." Natsuki pointed out. 'At least, not as easily as I did in former times.' she added in her head.

"Well, then it seems my Natsuki has known me for too long, if I start to bore her." Shizuru replied, forging disappointment.

"Don't say such a thing!" Natsuki got a little harsh. No matter for how long she knew her friend and those games and teasing of her, up to now she hadn't been able to build up an immunity against them. But maybe, she mused, it didn't matter because it was one of the pillars her relationship had been constructed on.

"Come here already and stop it, Shizuru." she said in a commanding tone.

"Whatever Natsuki wishes," Shizuru answered lightly, approaching her friend and sitting down right next to her in one graceful, fluent motion.

She regarded her love's face. It had indeed changed a lot over the past years at university, she thought. The ever present frown of the teenage girl she had met ages ago was gone. The young women beside her, enjoying the sunshine on her face, was comfortable with herself. Her eyes were still closed and her muscles slack, no tension or anxiety anywhere in her features. She didn't flinch or move when Shizuru trailed a hand up her back and caught a few lose strands of her black hair. All Natsuki did was tilt her head a little, leaning it against Shizuru's shoulder, as the woman kept playing with her hair, twisting it around her fingers.

"Did you learn your speech?" Shizuru asked after a while, stirring her love out of the drowsiness invading her mind and body.

"Yeah, yeah, I know it by heart. Satisfied?" she mumbled, unwilling to change the slightest thing about the cosiness of the situation right now.

"Are you sure? It would be very embarrassing if the chosen speaker for the graduation ceremony messed up, you know." Shizuru couldn't help but to tease a bit and tipped her index finger on Natsuki's nose. The girl just gave a grunt as a reply and cringed her nose at the contact. Creaking one eye open to get a vision, she playfully snapped at the finger, eliciting a giggle from her friend. Natsuki nuzzled a bit closer and Shizuru in return placed her arm round her waist to hold her close.

"You've changed." Natsuki said. "In the past you would have never giggled."

Shizuru's lips spread to a smile at that comment. It presented yet another great opportunity to tease her friend, but she decided to keep it serious for once in a while. Instead of some perky remark, she answered, "I was thinking that same of you earlier."

They both went silent again.

What use was it to dig up the old stories?  
They both had known each other for years; they knew what troubles they had gone through, the troubles they had to overcome before they ended up together as well as the little annoyances their relationship had had to face along the years.  
There would have been no meaning in telling them all over. They had made it this far and according to their future plans it was to continue. Maybe a year, maybe five years, maybe even more. At best they could hope for a lifetime.

Right at the moment they were here, with each other and content. How they got there was not of much importance.

"Guess I should say thank you." Natsuki's voice broke the silence.

"What for? For writing your speech?" the brunette chuckled. "I couldn't let you embarrass yourself in front of everyone." Shizuru knew that it wasn't what her love had meant. If it had been something that simple she wouldn't have mumbled it with averted eyes.

"No, baka!" the girl in her arms retorted, jerking her head up.

"No," she continued more calmly, this time looking Shizuru straight into the face. "I mean thanks for…for everything, I guess." Natsuki cursed herself inwardly. That had sounded pretty lame to her own ears, though Shizuru didn't seem to mind as she was still smiling fondly at her. Natsuki drew in another breath and averted her eyes again, locking them on the next best thing, which came to be their hands. Unconsciously she had entwined one of her hands with one of Shizuru's, playing with their fingers. Shizuru knew her blue haired beauty well. Actions such as these were always a sign of insecurity. She lifted her hand from her love's hip and stroked her head as if calming down an upset child. Meanwhile Natsuki wrestled with herself, or rather her tongue. After years of being lovers she should have no problem at all talking about her feelings, she scolded herself, yet she did. It wasn't that she was embarrassed or uncomfortable with loving the woman holding her. She loved her with all her heart. But she never found quite the right words to voice it. Of course, she contemplated, Shizuru knew for what she had wanted to thank her even if she did not elaborate it, but the fact was she wanted to. Skimming through her university years this afternoon had also been reviewing her relationship with Shizuru and to her dislike she had detected that far too often for her personal liking she had avoided telling her love what she still was: her most important person.

Not that Shizuru would demand it from her, she' never done it once, but sometimes even the emotionally-dense Natsuki caught a glimpse of longing in her eyes, which she was determined not to seal away with a kiss today.

The hand stroking her hair helped, sort of. It indicated safety, provided by their own little world surrounding them right now. They were alone. No matter how mushy, cheesy and stuttered her words might be, only Shizuru would hear them.

Natsuki placed a kiss on their fingers, reassuring herself that the proper words would come out of her mouth.  
"Thanks for becoming my friend when I had none, for not giving up trying no matter how harsh I was. Thanks for helping me through high school and getting me into university, for sacrificing your own study time to help me with my exams. Thanks for covering for me whenever I skipped and for stopping me skipping. Thanks for nursing me when I was sick, for watching over me getting healthy food, washing my clothes, helping me to keep our apartment clean. Thanks for believing in me all the time, even when I would give up on myself.

Thank you for loving me, Shizuru."

Once she had opened her mouth the words had spilled forward. Bottled up for a long time, what she had always felt and never quite said had come forth, without a pause or a particular order. An onslaught of sentences finally breaking the barrage, flowing on and on undamped for as long as her breath lasted. Now that the flood had ceased, she shuffled around in the woman's arms so that she came to lie facing her and looked up. Shizuru stared down at her, her eyes locked on her princess, tears streaming freely down her face, over her cheeks, and along her jaw line to drip down in her lap. Her make-up, otherwise indiscernible, ran over her face along with the tears, leaving tracks on her else flawless cheeks.

It wasn't the picture Natsuki had expected to see. And though she would have deemed it corny to say Shizuru had never looked more beautiful, to Natsuki she was gorgeous at that moment.

It didn't matter that her make-up was being washed away, or that the tears stained her cheeks, all Natsuki could see was the smile blooming on Shizuru's face. While the droplets were spilling forth, her eyes were shining and her lips spreading in a smile. It was open and unguarded, a rare expression on the Fujino face that offered a polite smile to everyone. And it was sincere and therefore genuine to Natsuki.

After she had marvelled at the sight for some time, she tentatively brought a finger up to her beloved's face to brush away the tears. Instead of her intention though, the blue haired woman found herself tracing along the lines they had left. "Shizuru," she whispered softly.

When she brought her lips up to Shizuru's she could taste the salt on her lips. The pair of arms around her back was pressing her into Shizuru, digging the fingers into the fabric of her shirt. It was an intense embrace, almost furious. For the first time, Natsuki realized, Shizuru was clinging to her and she the one holding her. Shizuru was begging for her words to be true and Natsuki was reassuring her that she meant them.

Mentally, though, she kicked herself. If she had known how happy she could make her love with those simple words, and simple they had been after all, she thought, then she would have said them way earlier.

As their kiss ended Natsuki looked into Shizuru's eyes. "Will you help getting me through whatever job I'm going to pick, too?" she asked in a whisper.

"I will." Shizuru answered, again with that smile gracing her features.

"Then it's a promise." She said, pulling Shizuru in a tight embrace.

* * *

A/N: First of all big thanks to Hoppy-chan/ Naolin for betaing this story and helping me out with my grammar. 

My first intention on this story was simply to write some happy piece about Shizuru and Natsuki, were they are in a stabel relationship and content together. There are so many angsty stories about those two they deserve some happy moments with each other now and then.

First I just wanted to write a little "Oh, I love you."-"I love you, too"-kiss-scene, but then I thought Natsuki owes so much to Shizuru, that they have a deeper connection then romantical love; of course they are lovers, but also more, like soulmates or each others half, completing each other. They both know that, yet I guess it's rarely brought up and to me Natsuki is person for whom it's much harder saying thank you and admitting that she, too, has weaknesses and likes to be cared out. Shizuru would go to every extent for her, the anime has shown that, and so I thought why shouldn't Natsuki show once in a while just how much she really appreaciates being loved so thoroughly.

Feel free to tell me what your opinion on the matter is and leave me a comment.


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